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August 1999
Sen. Jesse Helms
Jesse Helms, a 5-term Republican Senator from the great (sorta) state of North Carolina, has been a thorn in the side of any progressive legislation to cross the Senate floor for the last three decades! He consistently votes against any legislation that benefits minority groups in any way, opting instead to be an unapologetic whore for tobacco and big business. Mr. Helms claims to be a good Christian, and is willing to Love His Neighbor as long as his neighbor isn't black, homosexual, poor, Hispanic, agnostic, Hindu, Jewish, liberal, or smarter than he is! That leaves about 10 people, not including those he forgives as long as they're willing to line his pockets and/or re-re-re-re-re-election coffers! Mr Helms is such an outstanding schmuck that he even subscribes to the ultra-reactionary ultra-Christian and completely unfounded and stupid idea that only a total idiot could believe: that AIDS is God's cure for homosexuality! "We've got to have some common sense about a disease transmitted by people deliberately engaging in unnatural acts (NY Times, 7/5/95)." Never mind that heterosexuals are contracting the disease three times more often. (Of course, he could also be referring to the disease of "stupidity" contracted through the "unnatural act" of voting for such a complete schmuck.) Such a combination of hate and bigotry in someone who claims to love Christ is not uncommon, but twice as scary when you consider this man keeps getting re-elected! So this month's Schmuck of the Month award goes not only to the sick old man known as Jesse Helms, but all his moronic constituents who vote for him robotically every 6 years!
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Jesse Helms, Anus of the Nation
Jesse Helms radio spots
Jesse Helms Death Watch