Gary Bauer
Gary Bauer, Republican Presidential candidate that no one seems to
know or care much about, is one of those token extremists who runs his
campaign on one issue: the Abortion issue. Mr. Bauer claims
that America will never be a truly great nation until abortion is completely
outlawed. Never mind little things like foreign policy, drugs, education,
the budget, PACs, Medicare, Social Security, gun control, defense spending,
et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Those all come second to outlawing
abortion, at least in Mr. Bauer's puny, sick little mind. I'd like
to hear him talk about what he plans to do with all those babies carried
to term that are addicted to crack, badly deformed, conceived through rape,
or otherwise unwanted. Think he cares what happens to 'em once they're
out of the womb? FUCK no! I challenge anyone on earth to give
me evidence otherwise; at that I would stand corrected (and utterly amazed)
and would also probably buy a Powerball ticket and set up my world-band
radio to receive transmissions from aliens in the Andromeda galaxy, since
totally improbable things tend to happen in threes. Wasting any more
time typing about Mr. Bauer would be useless, since he has about as much
chance as winning the Republican Primary, not to mention the general election
in November 2000, as Callista Flockheart has of appearing on the cover
of Gent Magazine; he does, however, exemplify the very meaning of the word
"Schmuck" amazingly well, so congratulations, Mr. Bauer, on winning this
month's Schmuck of the Month, which will probably (and very hopefully)
be your last victory in the foreseeable future!
~•~
Go laugh at Gary Bauer's Family Research
Council page!
Go laugh even harder at Bauer's Official
Campaign 2000 page!